Friday, February 25, 2011

Look Using Barry M Dazzle Dusts

Today is voting day so get out there and vote people!!!!!

My psoriasis was bugging me on my eyebrows this morning so I didn't do a video!! I took a couple of pictures instead when I was finished!  I'm a huge fan of Barry M Dazzle Dusts, there's so many to choose from, they last forever and aren't expensive!!  I used these colours:
This brown colour is actually more black with a golden shine when you put it on even though it looks brown in the jar!

My face is still fairly puffy from all the steroids so I'm hoping that it'll go down soon!!
Have a great weekend!!!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Itchy Eye!!

So I've had an itchy red eye the last couple of days and tea bags aren't doing much for it so looks like its off to the chemist for me today for some Optichrom!!  Not feeling as confident about myself today because I can't wear much eye makeup!!  Shouldn't really be wearing my contacts either but glasses are so uncomfortable with this wig I have no choice! 
Getting more hair back every day!!! Have a real head of baby fuzz now!!
I had planned on doing a green smokey look today so hopefully my eye will be better tomorrow!!

Can't believe Aaron's midterm is nearly over already and we haven't killed each other yet!! We've been watching WAY too much Ben 10, I nearly know every episode of it off by heart at this stage!! 
Will hopefully be going to get my new pink ribbon tattoo in the next couple of weeks, I'm going to get it on the inside of my right wrist.  I still have to get Ryan's name tattooed on my ankle to go with Aaron's one, can't get one and not the other!!
Anyway, have a great day!! The sun is shining here which makes a change from the rain so I'm going to get out in it while I can!! 

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Last round of side effects......

Hey there!
Well, I'm on my last round of side effects from chemo, right now my bones are aching and I'm fairly sore but I just keep telling myself that its the last one and soon I'll be back to normal and able to taste my food again!!
So, I had a nice weekend with my 3 men, didn't do much with the bad weather and all but nice to spend some time with them all the same!!
Here's my make up from the last few days!!  Started using Rimmel's 25 hour foundation yesterday and seems to cover my freckles better!!  First couple of pictures are the Boots '17' Palette that Aaron got me for christmas and the 2nd batch are the MAC holiday palette!  I've been using a different eyeshadow on my eyebrows the last couple of days, its a Boots Natural collection one I got and forgot about!! I've also been using a base underneath my brows because they're all over the place now and very patchy!!

So, I've decided that I'm fed up making sure I have something covering my bald head when I answer the front door (especially with this election coming up) and I've been purposely leaving my head bald - its my house after all, if I want to be bald I will - but do you think anyone has called to my door apart from family?? Typical!!  
I'm kinda over being bald at this stage, so I hope it starts to speed up growing!!! I still frighten myself sometimes walking past the mirror because I keep forgetting that I'm bald!!  I try not to look in the mirror if I get up during the night to go to the toilet because I look sooooooo alien and puffy!!

Saturday, February 19, 2011

My Make Up Collection!

I'm going to post some pictures of my make up collection - just to give you an idea of how addicted I am to it, now you may notice from the date on the pictures that these are 2 years old but to be honest I don't have much more than that now, I just don't have the dosh anymore to be going out and buying stuff, mainly due to having 2 children, a mortgage and being out of work for more or less 18 months or so now due to maternity leave and being sick!!  Ok, I know you don't want to hear my life story so here you go!!!


Today's Make Up 19-02-11

Just a quick stop to show you today's face!!!  Bit of colour today!! Didn't go wild as I was in a hurry with Ryan trying to break my big mirror, don't really want 7 years of bad luck now do I??  Can't wait til my hamster cheeks from the steroids are gone!! My face looks so puffy!!  Freezing cold and foggy today, have the fire lighting since 8am!! Have a great weekend everyone!!

Friday, February 18, 2011

Finished chemo.... Woo Hoo!!

Well, i finished chemo yesterday and am so happy!!!  Now I can get on with getting back to myself and getting fit and healthy again!!
So, here's my make up for today...... I used my Mac eyeshadow palette again.......... I know you probably think I just use Mac but I promise I don't, its just that its easier to grab that than root through the drawer and look for colours that go with each other!!  I promise I'll start doing some more colourful looks very soon so give me any suggestions you have!!!

Hope you all have a great weekend!! I'm going to watch my camogie girls in action tomorrow evening, can't wait!!!

My story so far..........

2010 has been a huge year for me, full of ups and downs........... had a baby, got married, turned 30 and found out I've got cancer, yup!!!  So, on the 1st October 2010I found out that I've got breast cancer. 
Will backtrack a bit to fill in the gaps....
Had a baby in January and breastfed for about 5 weeks.  Found a lump in my right breast around the first week in June (a couple of days before I got married) and went to the doctor to get it checked out.  Was sent to the hospital for an appointment in July and the doctor said that she wanted me to get an ultrasound.  Had to wait a couple of months to get the ultrasound done between work and stuff and went on Wednesday 29th September to get it done.  While having the ultrasound the doctor said that I'd have to come up in about 10 days for results.  Then she said that she had spotted something and that I was to have a mammogram and biopsy.  Had those done and she had the sample brought up to the lab before I had even gotten up off the table so I kinda thought there was something wrong.  While I was getting dressed the doctor came in and told me she wanted me up 2 days later for the results of the biopsy and that I was to bring somebody with me..........
 *****Alarm Bells!!******
Went to work on the Thursday, mainly to keep myself distracted.
I won't forget Friday 1st October in a hurry anyway! G came to the hospital with me on the Friday for the results and in the back of both our minds I think we knew what was coming.  My doctor Ms Rothwell told me that they had tested the biopsy and it showed that I had cancer.  Myself and G just felt like the world was ending.... we grabbed each others hand and I just started crying.  To be honest I didn't hear much of what was said after that, only that I was to come up in a week to get some tests done but it had been caught early and I had a very good chance of being fine.
We both cried the whole way home and phoning our families and friends was one of the worst things we ever had to do. How do you tell people that you're 30 years old and you've got cancer?? It just doesn't seem real!!

A Week Later...
 I'm cool, calm and ready for battle.
I had to have loads of tests done, a liver scan, chest x ray and a bone scan.  All painless thank god!!  The bone scan was so relaxing that i actually fell asleep!  I had to be injected with radio active stuff and go off for a couple of hours to let it spread around my body.  I could leave the hospital while it spread so G brought me to a lovely Italian restaurant for lunch while we were waiting and the 2 hours were up before we knew it.  Went back to the hospital and lay down in a machine which would be able to detect the radioactive material in my body.  It took 33 minutes for the machine to pass over my body and seeing as I hadn't slept a wink the night before with the nerves, I had a little snooze on the table!
The worst part was not being able to go near Aaron and Ryan when I got home.  I had been advised to stay away from them for 24 hours so I had to sleep in the spare room and it was horrible not being able to kiss them goodnight or goodbye the next morning so I had to make up for it big time the next evening!
So, my lovely breast care nurse Gillian phoned me the next day to tell me that the bone scan was clear but there was a sign of trauma in my left knee which is probably the start of arthritis.  Kinda knew it was something like that as I've had nothing but problems with my knee over the years and have had to give up countless sports because of it.  And the doctors and specialists telling me there was nothing wrong with it...... Liars!!!

Another Week Later...
Well, another day spent in hosptial....
Friday 15th October I had my sentinel node biopsy.  Got to the hospital about 9.30am and spent about 45 mins talking through paperwork with a doctor and getting blood taken.  Upstairs then to be injected with radio active stuff again and then a 40 minute wait to get scans taken so they can pinpoint the location of the glands.
My bed in the ward is ready at this stage so we wait a couple of hours to be called for surgery.  My doctor calls in on me to see how I am and tells me she'll see me in surgery (She might have seen me but I didn't see her cos I was unconscious!!).  Go up to theatre about 1pm, get that awful drip in my hand (although I'm well used to that now!!) and last I remember on the clock is 1.15pm. Wake up about 2.45pm and am brought back down to the ward about half an hour later.  I see G sitting outside the wards and being all doped up, say to the nurse "there's my husband!" and I wave over to him and say "i'm still alive!".  He comes in to make sure I'm ok and then the nurse runs him to let me get some sleep.  About 20 minutes later I'm lying there half doped up looking at Sky News when I realise that I'm itchy.  I look at my wrist and there's a huge hive type thing on it.  Looking at my other arm I see the same thing and on my shoulders too.  I call the nurse and at first they look at me arm and say its from the blood pressure machine (???) but then they look at my shoulders and realise that I'm covered in hive type things and huge blue patches.  They tell me they'll get someone down to look at me and I lie there panicking for half an hour til my doctor comes in.  She asks me how I am and I reply "Itchy!" Mainly because I thought it was her that the nurses had called, but they hadn't!  She had a quick look at me then called the nurse in and an anaesthesist was down checking me out 2 minutes later.
He ran through everything that I'd been given and the blue dye was the only thing I'd never had before.  I had agreed to take part in a trial for the hospital you see and was given a blue dye as they're looking for an alternative to the radio active stuff for finding the gland. 
But, typical me, had an allergic reaction to it and the rash spread all down my body.  I looked a bit like smurfette!!  They had also told me that if I got the dye I'd have blue wee, which was kinda cool!!
They gave me an injection in my shoulder to flush out the dye and at this stage G came in.  He hadn't been told anything until my doctor stopped on her way out and told him what was happening so he was a bit pissed off that he wasn't told about my reaction.  An hour or so later most of the rash had gone so they gave me some toast and told me I could go home.  It was almost 6pm at this stage and we were both wrecked!
We took a detour to Pings on the way home for a takeaway and I ate it in bed when I came home, seeing as I couldn't go near my 2 little men again!!
Had blue wee for 24 hours or so, it was like having a blue loo on tap!!
A week later we had the results....

Friday 22nd October
Ms Rothwell was smiling when she called us in so we were delighted to hear that the results were all clear.  So no radiation but I was told I needed a full mastectomy and reconstruction on November 5th.  Ms Rothwell said that they would take a muscle from my back and put it round the front.  I would be losing my nipple and they would use a patch of skin from my back to cover where my nipple had been.  I would be left with a 6 inch scar on my back and because the muscle would be missing from my back I would not have full use of my arm from now on.

7 Days Post Op...
We arrived up at the hospital about 7.10am on Friday 5th November.  Ms Rothwell (who is my hero now!!) came in and drew on me with a marker and explained that the operation would be at least 5 hours or so...... the first stage where they would have me flat on my back and remove the breast tissue, then they would turn me sideways and take the muscle from my back, then sit me up so they could see how the other breast lies and match it as close as possible.  I went down to theatre about quarter to 9 and wasn't brought back to the ward til about half 4 or so!! My doctor had phoned G about 2pm to tell him that it went well and I was just coming around.
Was doped up on morphine and had a pump on my wrist which was great! Looked like crap though and got himself to take a photo to remember it by! He said it was the LONGEST day of his life!!! 
They took the morphine pump off me on Saturday (maybe I had used too much of it, I don't know!!!!) and I wasn't in an awful amount of pain or anything.  Worst part was not being able to stretch or reach for anything!!
By Sunday I was wearing make up again and starting to crack up due to the lack of sleep caused by my octogenerian roomates (nothing against old people, it was just my luck to end up with the moaners, groaners and snorers!!!!).  I had thought I'd be home around Tuesday but there was still too much fliud coming from the 2 drains in my side.  By Wednesday I had started begging to go home where I could be in my own bed and rest as much as I wanted and that I'd come back to get the drains out!  Thursday morning Ms Rothwell came around and she said that I could get the smaller drain out and go home, coming back the next day to get the other one out and to get all my results.  That was the best news I had heard in a long long LONG time!!  I had missed my 2 little men sooo much, never been away from them for longer than a night or 2 so it was music to my ears to hear I could go home to them!!
Getting the drain out was disgusting!!!!  The only way I can describe it is to compare it to pulling on a wet garden hose........ this was the one in my bionic right boob.  While the nurse was pulling it out I lay there shuddering to myself and while it didn't hurt me, it felt absolutely disgusting and can only describe it as one of the worst feelings ever!  But, it meant I could go home and that got me through it!
Was really glad to get home to my little men and while Ryan gave me huge smiles every time I looked at him, Aaron was more interested in playing my DS than being glad to have his mammy home!
Went back up to the hospital the following morning (Friday 12th Nov - 6 weeks to the day I was diagnosed with  breast cancer) and Ms Rothwell explained that they had gotten in all out and the tumour was about 34mm in size - the centre of it was 16mm and it spread out from there and was a grade 3.  She also said that they are still going to give me chemo after christmas to doubly make sure that its all gone, she said that because I'm so young I'd be well able to handle it!!!

21 Days Post Op...

3 weeks after my operation I was doing well, not in an awful lot of pain and doing most things I could do before. Couldn''t lift my arm much higher than my shoulder but was getting better by the day!
Went back up to hospital a week later to get the fluid drained from my back............ uuuugh!!!! It wasn't painful but horrible all the same! Yucky, horrible feeling and as for the sound of the fluid getting sucked out........ Eeeew!!
Was back up again then to meet my oncologist (not sure if I spelled that right!) who's name is Janice Walshe and she filled me in on the size of the tumour, that it had been feeding on my estrogen since my periods had started at 15 and that I would have to take tablets for the next 5 years that will shut down my ovaries and  advised me that I would need to get 4 rounds of chemo, once every 3 weeks just to make sure that they had gotten all the tumour.  She said that my hair would start to fall out a couple of weeks after my first treatment which would be on Dec 17th so myself and Josephine decided to organise a sponsored headshave!! I had said from the start that if I needed chemo I didn't want to wait for my hair to fall out and I would shave it off! I said that I would split the money between the local Cancer Support Group here in Arklow and my Camogie team!! Decided to tell Aaron that my hair was going to be falling out and he got very upset........ he's just like me though, he's able to deal with things if you explain it to him!! Now he tells me that I'm beautiful bald, he's such a little lick!!!!!

So, I started chemo a week before Christmas.  Chemo itself took over 7 hours because I had a reaction to it!  Couldn't breathe, sharp pains in my back, got all dizzy and went beetroot!! When I got home I felt like I had been hit by a bus then to make it worse Ryan was very sick and ended up in hospital with pneumonia so it was just me and Aaron, I couldn't go to the hospital because of all the infections I could pick up so G had to go with him, I never felt so useless in my life!!  Thank god he was let home after 2 days but it was nearly 3 because it took so long for them to get home from the hospital in the snow!!  I never felt worse than I did for 5 or 6 days, could hardly get off the sofa or do anything for myself....... food tasted like cardboard and the only things that tasted normal were Romantica, Chocolate Kimberleys and Coke!!  You have to get an injection 24 hours after chemo which builds white blood cells but it causes awful bone pain so that was horrible too!! Takes about a week to have any energy and I wouldn't wish it on anyone!!
Chemo took 4 hours.  Afterwards was the same as first time more or less minus Ryan's hospital trip!!  Stuck to the sofa for the best part of a week with mammy looking after me, Aaron and Ryan!
Flew it this time...only 2 and a half hours! Was actually very surprised that I was ok, a bit tired but no lying around on the sofa and even managed to get out for a walks to Tesco!  Not as much pain from the bone shaker as I now call it but still a few pains here and there!
2 and a half hours again yesterday!!  Felt fairly tired but had a good sleep and even brought Aaron to school this morning!!

Thanks for reading!!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

What a difference an eyebrow makes..........

So I was up at 5am this morning cleaning up Aaron's sick and although I am wrecked, the sun is shining and its put me in a good mood!! Ew, just noticed a spider running across the wall out of the corner of my eye!!!
I decided to take before and after pics of my eyebrows this morning and show the difference it makes when they're filled in, especially now that they're in short supply!!  I'll do a video in the next few days on it!! :o)

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Talk to The Headscarf!!

I don't know how many of you out there have heard of an author called Emma Hannigan but she is an amazing lady from Bray who is currently battling cancer for the 7th (yes, 7th!) time since she was first diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 32.  She recently released her story which is called "Talk to the Headscarf" and if you haven't read it I recommend you do........... so go buy it!! She has also written a great book called "Designer Genes" which is a fiction version of her story and is also a brilliant book.  I am currently reading another book of hers called "Miss Conceived" which has nothing to do with cancer but very good so far!!!
So, I was SEVERELY hung over after our women's night out in Nana Sadie's! Not something I'll be repeating again in a hurry!!! Especially when you have to get up early the next morning with 2 children!!
Not in a photo mood today, haven't had much sleep the last few nights due to one teething and the other vomiting!!  The joys!!
I got a dress for the Camogie dinner dance which is on Saturday 5th March so I'm putting cream on my psoriasis like a mad thing to get it cleared up in time!!
I don't know how many of my Facebook friends out there have added people who are selling MAC make up.........please don't buy it, its as fake as my eyebrows!!! I have the brush set that my sister bought me for christmas and although the quality wouldn't be as good, they are fine for putting eyeshadow on. Keep your money and either buy real MAC or Inglot which is in Dundrum and looks fab!! Haven't had the honour of buying any yet but have only heard good things about it!!  Or even better, go onto Ebay and buy a 120 palette...... 120 eyeshadows for €20?? Can't beat it! Or for those of you who aren't so adventurous when it comes to colour, you should get a neutral palette!
I have both of these and love them!!
Anyway, thats it for now, will leave you with a drunken photo from the other night!!

This is me, my Nana Sadie and my mad cousin Stacey!!

Friday, February 11, 2011

Friday already!!

Hey there!!
Can't believe its Friday AGAIN!!!! Where are the weeks going!! Busy week coming up next week, hospital appointment with Ryan on Monday, hospital to get my bloods done on Wednesday and then chemo on Thursday.  Last time I was only 2 and a half hours so hopefully will be the same this time! Its another horrible day out today, that rotten misty rain that you get soaked in!!
Looking forward to tonight, meeting all the mad Doyle women in Nana's for a few drinks and a chinese!!  Bought myself a new pair of boots this morning, had been after a pair of flat ones to wear with leggings for ages but never got round to getting some!!
I'm starting to grow a bit of hair again, have a light fuzz on my head now, think its still the same colour as it used to be but time will tell!! 
Today's make up is blue and green with a black base!!

New Boots!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Black is Black!!

Decided to do a black look!!  I like doing this smokey look and you could put some shimmery purple or blue on top of it if you wanted to! To make it even blacker you could use a dark base, there's a black Barry M pencil you could use or a MAC shadestick! Some false lashes would really finish it off too!!
Hope you like it!!!
Ok, I'm having trouble with youtube here so will link it to my Facebook page!!