I realise that I'm not your average blogger. I don't post all that often (almost 2 months since my last post in fact) but the truth is that i just don't have the time or energy for it any more! In my last post I said that the doctors had told me that I could have psoriatic arthritis but in my visit last month they told me that i don't have arthritis but have fibromyalgia instead. Everyone keeps telling me that its a good thing that i don't have arthritis but it still doesn't make the pain any easier to manage or cope with. I've really felt like crap the last few months and even with all the tablets they've put me on I still seem to be in a lot of pain and not getting a lot of sleep. I'm actually going back to my GP this afternoon because I'm not due back to hospital until November and i just can't put up with being in constant pain for another 2 months.
The worst part is that I feel bad for complaining at all. I've been through a mastectomy, chemo and all the other crap that cancer throws at you and I've come out the other side. I'm alive, what right have I got to complain? I should just be happy to be here! But the truth is that the pain I'm in now is worse than any pain I've had in the last two years and I am just sick of it! You are there telling doctors that you can hardly walk, push your son in his buggy or even manage to do a bit of housework and they look at you as if you're lying! I can't peel potatoes or veg any more, I've dropped hot saucepans and burnt myself because I can't hold anything heavy any more, the list just goes on and on! I know there are a lot of other people out there that have this horrible condition, I'm by no means the ony one with it, and live each day in constant agony.
Anyway, thank you to everyone for sticking with me through this mad life of mine and hopefully my 101st post will be a bit of a cheerier one! I know I haven't done anything makeup related in a long time but I haven't bought anything in ages and at the minute I'm not really bothered with it at all so I'm just filling in my eyebrows and putting on some mascara every day and that's about it!
PS. If any of you have fibromyalgia, or know somebody that does, I'd love to hear from you!
I don't know anyone with fibromyalgia but it sounds like an awful lot to deal with, my heart goes out to you. Maybe you could check if there's a support group on facebook? Congrats on your 100th post xx
ReplyDeleteThanks, as long as it's not gonna kill me I can handle it!! I'll definitely look up some support groups, hadn't thought of that at all! Thanks a million!
DeleteOh honey, what a burden! :-(
ReplyDeleteI would like to suggest the book Crazy Sexy Diet by Kris Carr. It's not a diet but a very interesting book about food and what it does to us. Kris Carr is a very inspirational woman living with cancer for 10 years now (she also has a documentary Crazy Sexy Cancer, also interesting). I really, really would love for you to check that out and educate yourself on what food can do for you.
Here is her website: http://kriscarr.com/
I wish you much love, strength and peace.
Nicole.
Lord as if you haven't had your fair share. I have psoriatic arthritis, have it but suspect I can't spell it but you know what I mean, I imagine its is similar to what you are experiencing if you were missed diagnosed as having it initially so I know how you feel hun. Its wearing isn't it and before I was properly diagnosed I used to sit and cry because the pain in my hands felt as if some one had put each hand on a brick and then smashed at them repeatedly with another brick til each and every bone was broken, its not a lot of fun is it?! I slipped off the Dr's radar for a while and have now had a change to my meds and am taking methotrexate weekly, it worked really well initially but now 3 months in its not doing as much so I think am going to have to get the dose tweaked up. I don't know if methotrexate is prescribed for what you have but its apparently the gold standard for rheumatoid arthritis and similar so might be worth considering if that's possible. I haven't read your blog in a while and had no idea you were coping with this now too - your tweets are always so happy and positive and make me smile which says a great deal about you! xx
ReplyDeleteI feel like you're in my body because what you just said is EXACTLY how I feel! Thank you so much,I'm here with tears in my eyes because I know I'm not the only one being in constant pain!
ReplyDeleteThey don't want to use something like MTX until I've been clear of breast cancer for 5 years!!
Thanks again!
x